Hello everyone! Welcome to my blog where we will see if meditation can help this hot mess mamma! Perhaps you too are a hot mess.

My name is Cristina, mother of two very active boys, Enzo and Luca. I always wanted to be a mother. I envisioned myself having 6 children, just like my grandmother. After two, it's gonna be a hard pass for me.

My oldest Enzo is turning 10 next month.

He is the sweetest, most caring and sympathetic soul I have ever met. The perfect child. Never a problem in school, every teacher's favorite, and the best big brother a kid could ask for.

The other one? Let's just say that if I had him first, he would be the only child.

I thought I had figured this whole parenting thing out with my first. Man...no one prepares you for the difference in personalities!

He is head strong, very particular, and someone must be giving him a daily IV of redbull. But, he's pretty adorable so we have kept him around.

I have never been the type to have it all together. I have always been kind of a hot mess, even before children. So I can't blame my current state entirely on them. I need to be fair.

Life is crazy with two kids. Add in a job that I work 70+ hours a day, a two hour a day commute, full time online student, boy scouts, drama club, swim lessons...all while trying to keep my offspring alive.

On top of all that, this year has been especially stressful. Enzo's dad was hit and killed while riding his motorcycle to work last summer. Even though we weren't together, we were best friends and had the most AH-MAZING coparenting situation. He even was taking care of my youngest when his father bailed on us. To say that this transition has had a profoundly tragic and gut wrenching impact, it would be an understatement. He was the glue and the cheerleader who kept us in line, pushing ahead through the daily chaos.

Needless to say, an assignment that pushes me to find something to help with all of this chaos and stress is appreciated, and way overdue. It has to be better than my current coping mechanisms.